Making New Military Spouse Friends by Danielle Ciotti

Whether you’re a new military spouse or a seasoned spouse, it can be extremely intimidating moving from home with everyone you know and starting over. Making friends in a new city feels like starting high school all over again. It’s just you and your spouse (maybe kids too), and a lot of times your partner is gone for a large portion of the day. Loneliness can set in very quickly and phone calls sometimes just don’t do it. If you’re a homebody you may enjoy your own company for a while but let me tell you, it doesn’t hold up for long. Having healthy friendships is a part of being human. We need social interaction. When your husband or wife, aka your best friend, gets home at the end of a long day sometimes, they want to just sit on the couch and relax. Meanwhile you’ve been sitting at home all day and you’re ready to have dinner, maybe go out, and/or chat their ear off. Imagine repeating this for months and months.

Simply, WE NEED FRIENDS. I have come across a couple ways of making friends in the military community that others might find appealing.

First, join the pages on social media that surround your base and cities. For example, The Ft. Hood Spouses page, Ft. Hood Army Wives page, and the city you live in page. Every base has these groups you can join. Poke around and see what events are going on. See what people like to talk about and comment on things that interest you. Make your own post. A lot of spouses introduce themselves and ask if others are interested in the things they like. Kids, no kids, pet lovers, coffee connoisseurs; the list goes on. 

Second, get a job. A lot of spouses are younger, so even if you haven’t started your career, get a part time job. Co-workers can become the best of friends. You’re with them all the time and you end up learning a lot about each other.

Third, start school or a program. Military spouses are entitled to a scholarship up to 4,000 dollars. Check out Military Career Education to learn more about career training courses available to military spouses. Better your future by researching some programs. It’s affordable (financial aid may be available), there are free e-books, you can do these programs remotely and guess what? You can possibly meet friends and engage in some social interaction while furthering your education!

Fourth, go to the military functions/events that are thrown by your spouse’s leadership. You can meet other spouses and their coworkers. It’s fun to interact and your partner might just want to show you off to everyone.

Lastly, invite your spouse’s coworkers over. Let people get to know you both. You may find that some of your closest friends will be other spouses. Don’t be afraid of birthday parties, BBQs, or Friendsgivings. They will sooth your social soul.

At the end of the day, don’t force friendships. A fleet of friends isn’t a necessity, one or two friends will do. You will vibe with whoever you’re meant to connect with, but it is crucial to build relationships outside of the one you have with your spouse. Even just one of those 5 suggestions can change your life in your new military town.

Best of luck!